What to say to someone going through IVF (with gift ideas)

Knowing what to say during IVF can feel impossible…

TRIGGER WARNINGS _ IVF CYCLES ,PREGNANCY, BABY

What NOT to say!

When someone you care about is going through IVF, it’s completely normal to feel unsure about what to say. You want to help, but sometimes the most common phrases can unintentionally feel dismissive, hit the wrong nerve, trigger all sorts of emotions!

Try to avoid saying phrases like:

“ Just relax”

“ It’ll happen”

“ Everything happens for a reason”

While these are usually said with good intentions, they can come across as minimising what is often a physically and emotionally exhausting experience.

IVF isn’t something someone can simply “ relax through” , and uncertainty is one of the hardest parts.

What YOU COULD say

You don’t need the perfect words, lets face it there is no perfect thing to say to someone going through IVF. All you can and should do is simply show up with empathy and honesty.

Here are some simple things you can say that truly help:

“ I’m here for you, no matter what.” - This doesn’t dismiss the rollercoaster of a journey that they are going through and lets them know they have someone to talk to.

“ You don’t have to go through this alone.” - From my experience going through IVF is a really isolating experience. When we had our IVF in 2018, i didn’t know anyone that had been on a journey like this so apart from those we chose to tell at the time (literally the people that would pick up on time off work for scans and clinics etc that was impossible to hide!), we were very much on our own.

“ I’m thinking of you and sending so much love.”

“ If you ever want to talk—or not talk—I’m here.”

Sometimes, it’s not about saying the “ right” thing at all. Just reminding someone they’re supported can make a huge difference. Emotional well-being during IVF can really suffer because the journey can have so many ups and downs so just knowing that they have someone outside of their partner to talk to can really help.

Why small gestures matter

It felt like our cycle was taking forever! (6 weeks from start to end) so actually wasn’t that long and we were incredibly lucky that our first cycle resulted in success and our beautiful daughter Isabelle. At the time, I remember thinking ever single day was dragging and never going to end, I’d then get into bed and think, oh that’s another day done!

I had shared with my work colleagues at the time that we were embarking on IVF so I was very lucky to have support around me throughout as i was working full time so there was always a shoulder to lean on if i was having a wobbly day.

Those first few weeks during injections leading up to the trigger injection i was constantly surrounded by love and care.

The Two Week Wait, that felt like a whole different journey.

My (now) husband, was working full time and I had the 2 weeks off work so i could rest and allow my body to get to work. I discovered a love of puzzles during this time as well as realising that every single programme i watched on TV had references to IVF or infertility. A quick channel change usually solved that one but it always set my brain whirring, wondering whether we would be lucky enough for our little embryo to stick! The one thing i didn’t have during the two week wait…

Company!

They were the most lonely and isolating 2 weeks of my life! If the early weeks of IVF had gone slow, this fortnight took things to a whole other level!

Looking back, i know a small thoughtful gesture could have cut through those long days in a way that no words could have done at the time.

I’m not talking large grand gifts, I’m talking about the ones that make someone feel seen, remembered and supported.

Something as simple as a handwritten message, a small keepsake, or a letterbox surprise can become a quiet moment of comfort in an otherwise overwhelming time. These gestures say, “ You’re not alone in this” , without needing to say much at all.

This is how we came to launch Inspired By Isabelle - a way for others to offer support and help to someone when words just don’t come close, when they don’t know what to say or how to say it. They can say something from the heart, a gift from the heart to say, it’s okay you are not on your own no matter what!

Gift Ideas

Thoughtful Gift Ideas for IVF Support

If you’re looking for a gentle way to show support, here are some meaningful options:

Each of these offers something more than just a gift. They offer connection, reassurance, and a reminder that someone cares. A gift from the heart.

You can explore our full range here:
👉 Browse IVF Support Gifts Collection

Or view a thoughtful option here:
👉 Sending You a Big Hug Letterbox Gift

A Final Thought

You don’t need perfect words or big gestures to support someone going through IVF.

Just showing that you care, through a message, a small gift, or simply being there, can mean more than you realise.